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The compiled wisdom of over 14 years of quote-sniping while wandering aimlessly about the Internet. O, Lord, give a man PHP and a database, sit back, and watch the wonderment commence.

struck-through quotes are no longer choice enough to appear randomly, but are supplied for hysterical--er, historical--purposes.

1. "Such firms gave a bad name to the penis enhancement business." (in context) (find source)

2. "A vote for Kerry is a vote to die in your own bed at the hands of Dick Cheney." (find source)

3. "It was purely accidental. Momentum carried him beyond." (in context) (find source)

4. "One of us traded Sammy Sosa, please vote accordingly." (find source)

5. "An almost fatal circus event of unprecedented proportions." (in context) (find source)

6. "Does anybody else want to (expletive) with the cowboy?" (in context) (find source)

7. "You have the aura of election upon you." (in context) (find source)

8. "They don't sell insurance for this kind of thing." (in context) (find source)

9. "Voices tell me I'm the shit." (in context) (find source)

10. "A bewildered, confounded and miserably perplexed man." (in context) (find source)

11. "We're all in this together, so help a brother out." (in context) (find source)

12. "If the revolution involves me having to figure out how to recompile my kernel, count me right the fuck out." (in context) (find source)

13. "It's unbelievable, it's unbearable and it's embarrassing." (in context) (find source)

14. "I do not expect to have any significant opportunity for the Hall of Fame." (find source)

15. "Are we being forward-leaning enough?" (in context) (find source)

16. "It is necessary to also want the consequences of what one wants." (in context) (find source)

17. "Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year. Is that torture?" (in context) (find source)

18. "I beamed. This was going very well." (in context) (find source)

19. "John Waters has openly admitted that teabagging is by and large a ludicrous sexual act." (in context) (find source)

20. "I'm a special player and I just want to thank my hands for being so great." (in context) (find source)

21. "That wasn't a nice thing to say. That wasn't designed to make me feel good." (in context) (find source)

22. "You've unleashed the fucking fury!" (in context) (find source)

23. "It's a very private issue amongst myself." (in context) (find source)

24. "You like being mean to us; you're nothing but a hatred machine." (find source)

25. "okay, but if you make me buffer I will cut you" (in context) (find source)

26. "I like walk, but I swing now. Now I like swing. No more walk." (find source)

27. "If I said something really, really funny in this interview, I would write it down. So far, I've got nothing written down." (in context) (find source)

28. "Lining up for anything, what part of that makes any sense?" (in context) (find source)

29. "When someone knocks on the door, it's either subpoenas or the killers." (in context) (find source)

30. "I don't like celebrity chefs? I got nothing but celebrity chefs." (in context) (find source)

31. "If you don't miss a flight once in a while, you're spending too much time in the airport." (in context) (find source)

32. "Go, with God's curse, for if he loved you as he loves me, he would have provided for you." (in context) (find source)

33. "If this is tea, bring me some coffee. If this is coffee, bring me some tea." (in context) (find source)

34. "I couldn't see myself not being the biggest dope man." (in context) (find source)

35. "There is no protocol on something like this." (in context) (find source)

36. "At least he told the truth -- that's unusual around here." (in context) (find source)

37. "Right now, blind kids can play with a ball, but only if someone is there to find it if it rolls away." (in context) (find source)

38. "Nine-year-olds do not think like that. He only wants to hear good news." (in context) (find source)

39. "It was jelly-like and it stunk horribly, like butter gone off or old chip pan oil." (in context) (find source)

40. "All of my opinions are retractable. So I never put them in writing." (in context) (find source)

41. "Guys bone their bats in broad daylight." (find source)

42. "You may be mostly interested in women but, hey, the guy who delivers the pizza is really hot, and what are you going to do?" (in context) (find source)

43. "To place an attractive young woman in that kind of hell hole is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions." (in context) (find source)

44. "If they called it Windows Garbage, would people still buy it? Yeah, they'd buy it." (in context) (find source)

45. "Someone would have to be pretty stupid not to recognize that." (in context) (find source)

46. "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." (in context) (find source)

47. "I am Solo. I will continue to disrupt at the highest levels." (in context) (find source)

48. "I have been known worldwide to pay top dollar for collectable items which I had interest in to buy." (in context) (find source)

49. "He didn't want to, I guess, go the road to go where we were really trying to go." (in context) (find source)

50. "To entertain other interpretations is to flout the very tenets of the scientific method." (in context) (find source)

51. "I won't use it as a reason for being successful or an excuse for losing." (in context) (find source)

52. "Such a woman brings great sin on kabbalah." (in context) (find source)

53. "You are the best Governor ever--deserving of great respect!" (in context) (find source)

54. "I`m going to laugh when IE 7 breaks all of your web pages when it comes out." (in context) (find source)

55. "We're totally changing that back. That's the only reason I took the job: I read the title." (in context) (find source)

56. "Don't rush to kiss a stranger on the mouth or you will end up in a deep sleep." (in context) (find source)

57. "Don't mess with me, sir, because you'll get stung." (in context) (find source)

58. "There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin. That's the only way I know how to put it." (in context) (find source)

59. "If I had to stop myself, I probably wouldn't be able to do it, either." (in context) (find source)

60. "You have to go back to the place where thinking begins and stay there." (in context) (find source)

61. "This was not intentionally done by myself." (in context) (find source)

62. "Why do you talk to me? I don't talk to you. You don't talk to me. There's no reason for you to talk to me." (in context) (find source)

63. "It is your duty as judges to investigate the crime at its scene." (in context) (find source)

64. "This is a contact sport. Go out there half-ass and see what happens." (in context) (find source)

65. "Normally, you don't have someone admitting to a possible violation of the Public School Code during an arbitration hearing." (in context) (find source)

66. "It's just the Internet, for God's sake. It's nothing important." (in context) (find source)

67. "311, I am ready to fight." (in context) (find source)

68. "This whole thing is a little confusing. I'll just leave it at that. The best way to say it is he violated the program." (in context) (find source)

69. "If anybody in South Bend tells you there are no gangs in South Bend, they don't know what they're talking about." (in context) (find source)

70. "Invest more in heavy sexual acts. Not too distorted, but at least interesting in nature." (in context) (find source)

71. "Yeah, just about everything is better if you are an archaeologist." (in context) (find source)

72. "She may want me to stay quite, and not talk about her it all in the book, I'll be more happy to do, if we can come to an agreement..." (in context) (find source)

73. "From the story I just told you, I think that would be impossible for that to happen." (in context) (find source)

74. "She's had damn rapists, child molesters and lying authors on her show. And if I'm not a rags-to-riches story for her, who is?" (in context) (find source)

75. "We're talking here about a crime committed against a child, and shortness is not a defense." (in context) (find source)

76. "Los Angeles is not known as a place that has fires in warehouses and we would like to keep it that way." (in context) (find source)

77. "Whatever opinions anyone else has is totally irrelevant. I'm operating from a position of advantage." (in context) (find source)

78. "You are not a dictator. It is the people who surround a man who make him a dictator." (in context) (find source)

79. "Voltron still hasn't fully formed yet." (in context) (find source)

80. "He is a very unimportant person who has delusions of grandeur." (in context) (find source)

81. "People who know how much they're worth generally aren't worth too much." (in context) (find source)

82. "We are just trying to concentrate on rejuvenating his career in other ways rather than through reality television." (in context) (find source)

83. "Mississippi gets more than their fair share back in federal money, but who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?" (in context) (find source)

84. "If there are extraterrestrials in outer space, KFC wants to become their restaurant of choice." (in context) (find source)

85. "Because when I sleep, my man be out." (in context) (find source)

86. "I'm 20 deep. My boys are coming." (in context) (find source)

87. "I'm trying to soak it all in ... but I'm sweating like a slave up here." (in context) (find source)

88. "You can't put a seatbelt on heroin." (in context) (find source)

89. "I do not approve of any of my actions and I do not approve of the words that came out of my mouth." (in context) (find source)

90. "This is the flash point. This is the time of raised pitchforks." (in context) (find source)

91. "You wonder what the people at the Department of Mental Retardation were thinking." (in context) (find source)

92. "Hell, why did I do that? I'm going back to prison, man." (in context) (find source)

93. "To say he looked like a deer in headlights would be to insult the deer." (in context) (find source)

94. "That's not a hair question. I'm sorry." (in context) (find source)

95. "You know how you read between the lines? As a recruiter, I have to hear between the lines." (in context) (find source)

96. "She's not breathing, and she's not responsive. She's, um, actually Anna Nicole Smith." (in context) (find source)

97. "It's called secondary virginity. It is a big movement in high school and also available for politicians." (in context) (find source)

98. "We're talking about behavior that is unbecoming of a diplomat." (in context) (find source)

99. "I was surprised he did that. I didn't feel it was appropriate at all." (in context) (find source)

100. "That's some nappy-headed hos there, I'm going to tell you that." (in context) (find source)

101. "That claim fails the straight-face test." (in context) (find source)

102. "I like lesbians, but they shouldn't be allowed to run for king." (in context) (find source)

103. "She came over to insult me and she succeeded." (in context) (find source)

104. "I look forward to working with your fine Police Department to shut this little extortion factory down and/or arrest some of its employees." (in context) (find source)

105. "Yo, Blair. How are you doing?" (in context) (find source)

106. "We might as well add colorblind, left-handed, allergic-to-cashews, and get it over with." (in context) (find source)

107. "Some small American newspapers frequently fabricate offbeat news to trick people into noticing them with the aim of making money." (in context) (find source)

108. "You dead, dawg, I ain't even bullshitting. Your kids, too." (in context) (find source)

109. "Prosecuting a woman for staring at a police dog is absurd." (in context) (find source)

110. "I responded to his comment with my right hand." (in context) (find source)

111. "I'm not drunk in your court. You want to see me drunk in your court?" (in context) (find source)

112. "The light of GODS LOVE shines through YOU!!!" (in context) (find source)

113. "Your oath is not to uphold the president." (in context) (find source)

114. "It's very disrespectful and not at all aesthetically pleasing." (in context) (find source)

115. "You've got me really scared about my brain right now. I'm really having a problem." (in context) (find source)

116. "There is no indication of a nexus to terrorism at this time." (in context) (find source)

117. "I am OK. My car's not OK, but I am." (find source)

118. "I don't, ah, I am not gay, I don't do these kinds of things and..." (in context) (find source)

119. "Embarrassing, embarrassing. No wonder why we're going down the tubes." (in context) (find source)

120. "We realised that struggling artists are meant to struggle, that's the whole point." (in context) (find source)

121. "With the sheriff railing on me right now, it's kind of hard to say anything." (in context) (find source)

122. "My blocking? It sucks. I'm not gonna lie." (in context) (find source)

123. "There is no hard-and-fast rule about how long a house can sit on the side of the freeway." (in context) (find source)

124. "Anyone who thinks this affects me isn't using logic." (in context) (find source)

125. "I'm not about to put one person under the bus, because that just precedes putting the next person under the bus. That's why I don't go to the bus." (in context) (find source)

126. "It sort of goes in cycles. Right now, he's the man pedaling the cycle." (in context) (find source)

127. "Can I be frank? I trade deer meat for crack." (in context) (find source)

128. "To them people booing, wait 'til my husband gets out of incarceration. And I mean that." (in context) (find source)

129. "I'm Tim. I drive an Aries." (in context) (find source)

130. "It's just really hard to describe how difficult it was working with this guy." (in context) (find source)

131. "We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there." (in context) (find source)

132. "I don't know what the deal was. It was just bizarre." (in context) (find source)

133. "It happened. That sucks. Gotta move on." (in context) (find source)

134. "If I was that cat I'd leave on my own accord--I'd call a cab. It ain't right. This ain't Toys R Us. They took my cat." (find source)

135. "The proof is in the pudding. You judge a tree by its fruit." (in context) (find source)

136. "No one destroys my dream." (in context) (find source)

137. "I think I've been ripped off, dude!" (in context) (find source)

138. "You want to know his original name? It ends with Frankenstein." (in context) (find source)

139. "We'll burn that bridge as we cross it. But as a rule I don't like dealing with people who turn hostile over an act of stupidity." (in context) (find source)

140. "Rearranging your clothes and masturbating are definitely two different things." (in context) (find source)

141. "The last time that I checked a nipple was not a dangerous weapon." (in context) (find source)

142. "We have no intention of prosecuting Rush Limbaugh because lying through your teeth and being stupid isn't a crime." (in context) (find source)

143. "She needs more of ze punishment!" (in context) (find source)

144. "Macs aren't just for blue-haired old ladies. Or for floating boats. They are also for a subset of things that PCs do!" (in context) (find source)

145. "The first thought was, you know, it's never a good thing to be buried in cement when you're in New York." (in context) (find source)

146. "I don't know exactly how to respond to that." (in context) (find source)

147. "Bush, Bush you low-life! Saddam's blood is not cheap!" (in context) (find source)

148. "We're supposed to be on the same team!" (in context) (find source)

149. "Everything points to the pilot forgetting to lower the wheels, which does happen from time to time." (in context) (find source)

150. "This case is unique in its depth of complexity and depravity." (in context) (find source)

151. "I am outgoing, very lovable, fun to be around, a man of great character. I'm just a lovable guy." (in context) (find source)

152. "Sir, could you please allow me to walk like a man to your cop car?" (in context) (find source)

153. "I'll be in hell before you start breakfast, boys! Let her rip!" (in context) (find source)

154. "This is the most stupid baseball playing I've ever seen!" (in context) (find source)

155. "I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt." (in context) (find source)

156. "Lord, if only I could have talked to Hitler, all of this might have been avoided." (in context) (find source)

157. "If you write that, it will be factually incorrect and bordering on slander. And I will come after you." (in context) (find source)

158. "This is either a threat to be ignored or an offer to be accepted." (in context) (find source)

159. "This isn't a press event. It's a tourist occasion. Why don't you learn something?" (in context) (find source)

160. "Is it prurient? I don't know what to tell you. I think it's odd and interesting. It's part of life." (in context) (find source)

161. "I'm going to be really honest right now, he needs to just not speak in public. Period." (in context) (find source)

162. "You destroy communities. You punish the men, and you punish the women, doing it in front of the men." (in context) (find source)

163. "Intensity is what the public demands of us." (in context) (find source)

164. "She looked like something out of a fairytale! We had to find her and we searched high and low until we did!" (in context) (find source)

165. "The report is absolutely incorrect, devoid of facts, misleading and irresponsible. It is a figment of imagination." (in context) (find source)

166. "If they only knew how much fun I was having in here, they would turn me loose." (in context) (find source)

167. "I'd advise them to get a better class of employees." (in context) (find source)

168. "If I can get the kids to believe homosexuality is normal!" (in context) (find source)

169. "Dude, I can't talk, I'm being chased by the police." (in context) (find source)

170. "I loved him so much that I would ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me to." (in context) (find source)

171. "You better come get your uncle--I just killed him." (in context) (find source)

172. "Maybe your next article should be about lower-energy solutions to powering rockets with which you can launch yourself directly into the Sun?" (in context) (find source)

173. "Meanwhile the bankers run off to their private islands and laugh at the stupid fat fluorodated, mercury vaccinated public whos killing themselves over boxes of hamburger helper." (in context) (find source)

174. "We're talking about damn fools that have built houses on the edge of the sea for as long as man could remember and against every advice anyone has given." (in context) (find source)

175. "I don't know what he was doing, but he got me to fire him." (in context) (find source)

176. "I think the moment has arrived for the court to shine the light of constitutionality on the reasons for detention." (in context) (find source)

177. "The parties are advised to chill." (in context) (find source)

178. "Saakashvili, I'm going to make him hang by the balls." (in context) (find source)

179. "Mr. Cent intends to vigorously pursue this case." (in context) (find source)

180. "I wonder if they're going to drive back?" (in context) (find source)

181. "My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer." (in context) (find source)

182. "This is a farewell from someone who had done nothing wrong." (in context) (find source)

183. "We don't know why we do it, but we will never stop because Islam and our elders require it." (in context) (find source)

184. "Don't ask me what the point of the trick was supposed to be." (in context) (find source)

185. "The Secret Service guy told me to calm down." (in context) (find source)

186. "I tried to have a heart to heart with my friend about not hitting on guys she wasn't interested in at a restaurant. She seemed to be taking it in, but then she tried to kiss a waiter." (in context) (find source)

187. "I don't think there's anyone in Russia who doesn't know what a drunk person looks like." (in context) (find source)

188. "I am a little affected by the intensive, continuous and permanent use of this cannon I've got here and the doctor has told me not to talk." (in context) (find source)

189. "They felt uncomfortable with him eyeing them off and I asked him to show some respect and take his clothes off." (in context) (find source)

190. "I'm my own guy. I beat to my own drum, go with my own thinking, my own intuitions." (in context) (find source)

191. "I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this." (in context) (find source)

192. "Reporting on quiet listings is a hideous and obnoxious thing to do." (in context) (find source)

193. "Keep working hard, dudes! Keep eating your vegatabos!" (in context) (find source)

194. "I'm Ko Simpson with the Buffalo Bills. I am worth millions!" (in context) (find source)

195. "They warned me off, and the result is that my business has been smashed to bits by yobs." (in context) (find source)

196. "If three cops are too weak or too lazy to cuff one stoned wizard then it's time to get some better cops." (in context) (find source)

197. "All our bands are free to fuck off whenever they please." (in context) (find source)

198. "I am firmly convinced that he just breaks taboos again and again in order to make money." (in context) (find source)

199. "You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders." (in context) (find source)

200. "We can't be responsible if you strike out with her." (in context) (find source)

201. "I had to subdue him by punching him, which I did not take a great deal of pleasure in." (in context) (find source)

202. "No, not at all. He was very, very pleased with himself." (in context) (find source)

203. "But we don't buy sharks off the street." (in context) (find source)

204. "May I? You should have sex with yourself. You should touch yourself often." (in context) (find source)

205. "This is like Y2K except this one is really happening." (in context) (find source)

206. "Yeah, I walked in the shower. I'm not a homosexual or nothing like that, but Kobe had no clothes on." (in context) (find source)

207. "god is vaporware." (in context) (find source)

208. "The mayor's a jackass. You can print that." (in context) (find source)

209. "I'm a radical! I'm a real extremist. I don't want to impeach judges. I want to impale them!" (in context) (find source)

210. "You understand why they haven't won in 100 years here." (in context) (find source)

211. "My family is and always will be a decrepit bowl of dog urine compared to Nityananda of Ganeshpuri. That is how great Nityananda is." (in context) (find source)

212. "This will make me the chief of my tribe." (in context) (find source)

213. "My father got more creditentials than most of these pro coaches." (in context) (find source)

214. "It's always unfortunate when somebody dies, but beyond that we'll have to wait and see how the case plays out." (in context) (find source)

215. "I didn't necessarily want to work for somebody I didn't want to work for." (in context) (find source)

216. "He is going to maul you and beat you up, and he feels pretty good about doing it." (in context) (find source)

217. "Just because it's never been done before doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with it." (in context) (find source)

218. "Do I turn off the light or do you? What is the procedure?" (in context) (find source)

219. "I am Dr. Amy Bishop!" (in context) (find source)

220. "But we live in a civil world where people don't normally think "Hey, I could punish that asshole."" (in context) (find source)

221. "Compliance, that's all we've ever wanted." (in context) (find source)

222. "Falling in love with you could really fuck up my plans for becoming President." (in context) (find source)

223. "Save all the money on the manuals and just give me this duck to always be there and tell me what to do." (in context) (find source)

224. "You either were pulling the levers or asleep at the switch." (in context) (find source)

225. "You're about to experience chaos." (in context) (find source)

226. "I already know the flowers I will place on your coffin." (in context) (find source)

227. "You are involved in a very tiny company." (in context) (find source)

228. "I need to do what I need to do. I'm going to get sick." (in context) (find source)

229. "Hungerford must be a bit of a mess. I wish I had stayed in bed." (in context) (find source)

230. "We want his legacy to be about his magnificent talent and not this nonsense." (in context) (find source)

231. "If anything I said this morning has been misconstrued to the opposite effect I want to apologize for that misconstrued misconstruction." (in context) (find source)

232. "We've shot an amazing number of people." (in context) (find source)

233. "What other cabinet position would be not stupid? UN Ambassador?" (in context) (find source)

234. "Stupid Zionists have hired mercenaries to assassinate me." (in context) (find source)

235. "That means that the Dollar Menu is a hoax, a fraud, a phony." (in context) (find source)

236. "Even the sickest perverts believe in God. God saved us." (in context) (find source)

237. "Continuity is apparently an issue." (in context) (find source)

238. "I told them 'I don't advise you take my dog unless you want to face my shotgun'." (in context) (find source)

239. "We are requesting asylum from Hollywood Star Whackers." (in context) (find source)

240. "I have never before been so convinced that a candidate would reach so low in order to be victorious." (in context) (find source)

241. "You put your hand in fire. Now it's time to get burned." (in context) (find source)

242. "I'm not promiscuous. I just really like women." (in context) (find source)

243. "Not every guy with short hair and a long beard is a terrorist. Some of us just want to rock." (in context) (find source)

244. "The music business is cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway, where thieves and pimps run free, where good men die like dogs. And then there is a negative side." (in context) (find source)

245. "Let's not turn this guy into Robin Hood." (in context) (find source)

246. "Do you know who I am? I am an NFL player and I'm going to sue your ass." (in context) (find source)

247. "The head of the love organ is shaped exactly like a poisonous rattlesnake. And just like a rattlesnake, it's always looking for a hole." (in context) (find source)

248. "And it's then when I realized I can't do business with this man and I really hope no one ate those potatoes." (in context) (find source)

249. "You can quote me on it: That bunch has a real corner on stupid." (in context) (find source)

250. "Why don't you grow a baby and get a life!" (in context) (find source)

251. "It's not like I spilled hot coffee on my vagina and I'm trying to make a buck off of it ... my identity has been stolen man." (in context) (find source)

252. "Let me make very clear, there is no candy exception to the First Amendment." (in context) (find source)

253. "I was drunk, and I did not realize I was pissing on her leg." (in context) (find source)

254. "You've tarnished Apple's reputation. You should hate each other for having let each other down." (in context) (find source)

255. "That was no interview! That was a drunken business meeting!" (in context) (find source)

256. "I'd like to give some of the audience the opportunity to confirm the degree of tumescence." (in context) (find source)

257. "Stop the hate! Feel the rainbow, Newt!" (in context) (find source)

258. "They send a shudder up my spine. It is a hell I have to endure." (in context) (find source)

259. "Everything I have said here could be off base and wrong ... He has made WAY more money at this than I have." (in context) (find source)

260. "We will fight the holes with science." (in context) (find source)

261. "Let's say there were 7,000 or 8,000 people who had to die to win the war against subversion." (in context) (find source)

262. "Not a one of you has the courage to vote against chocolate!" (in context) (find source)

263. "There is phosphorous that naturally occurs on the sand at the beach, but no one has ever heard of pants catching fire." (in context) (find source)

264. "I don't like Mondays. This livens up the day." (in context) (find source)

265. "Wow, that is awesome. Those people need to start vocalizing themselves." (in context) (find source)

266. "I should not be judged as a conspirator, but as an imbecile." (in context) (find source)

267. "I don't want to answer that question. That's a clown question bro." (in context) (find source)

268. "It's hard to see as much as you'd like to with our schedule on the road, but it's harder to do coke and fuck whores every night. Now that's a full time job." (in context) (find source)

269. "Is there a V.I.P. entrance. We are V.I.P." (in context) (find source)

270. "They asked me if that's a growth - and I said no, that's my dick." (in context) (find source)

271. "I am not going to give up. Stay naked is the word." (in context) (find source)

272. "Is there somebody on this electrical crew who's not too chickenshit to do the job?" (in context) (find source)

273. "You're going to have to take my word for it." (in context) (find source)

274. "When you're rich, you want a Republican in office." (in context) (find source)

275. "Do I look like I can't afford to buy my own hamburger?" (in context) (find source)

276. "That's all right, son. It's my prerogative." (in context) (find source)

277. "Train's leaving the station. Run, get on it." (in context) (find source)

278. "People hated me. I've been spat upon. They threw gum in my coffee." (in context) (find source)

279. "Don't go and let other people have a sick time getting laid." (in context) (find source)

280. "You know, Gina, Apple is like a ship, that ship is loaded with treasure, but there's a hole in the ship. And my job is to get everyone to row in the same direction." (in context) (find source)

281. "She can't get up at this time." (in context) (find source)

282. "You're not going to drag us into your shitty war." (in context) (find source)

283. "I throw them into the deep end. And they become fearless." (in context) (find source)

284. "We owe them something and it is coming." (in context) (find source)

285. "There's something wrong with that boy; he frowns for no good reason." (in context) (find source)

286. "We want there to be some kind of discipline action in the form of trying to curb her behavioral problems right now." (in context) (find source)

287. "People need to hear what I have to say. There's no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn't matter what I live." (in context) (find source)

288. "Forty percent of Americans believe in UFOs. Those are my customers." (in context) (find source)

289. "The disparity between their worldview and our view is quite significant." (in context) (find source)

290. "You're going to get yours. And if you don't get yours, somebody close to you will." (in context) (find source)

291. "I'm going to need help getting out before this becomes a medical emergency." (in context) (find source)

292. "The weak must die. The strongest will conquer." (in context) (find source)

293. "Suddenly I appeared in Zagreb and I realized I wasn't in Belgium anymore." (in context) (find source)

294. "My life is sort of weird. I don't back off from things." (in context) (find source)

295. "Lance is about perseverance, and so is the Postal Service." (in context) (find source)

296. "I am an honorary consul general, so I have inviolability." (in context) (find source)

297. "The constant slamming of the rifles against the left hand side of the chest is clearly a significant factor." (in context) (find source)

298. "If she is my client, I would hardly admit it to the media." (in context) (find source)

299. "I'll be out of work for like five minutes." (in context) (find source)

300. "You can write anything you want. Don't be ridiculous. That's an outrage, for you to say that." (in context) (find source)

301. "No! The people threw me out, and now the people must be punished!" (in context) (find source)

302. "I never had the opportunity to have a family of my own, I'm terminating yours." (in context) (find source)

303. "When people ask about the party's gold, my answer is always: Are you an idiot or something?" (in context) (find source)

304. "If I'm not permitted to save last night's literature research, an airplane will fall from the sky." (in context) (find source)

305. "This is very advanced, we learned how to do it from the internet." (in context) (find source)

306. "If you're bashful I got a snake sitting under my desk here." (in context) (find source)

307. "You're about to find out who I am. You are going to be on national news." (in context) (find source)

308. "I think we all know that when we're growing up we do stupid things but to cross over the line in this instance shouldn't happen with anybody." (in context) (find source)

309. "We are not concerned with a puppy. We are concerned with the threat to the officer." (in context) (find source)

310. "Stop resisting! Stop resisting!" (in context) (find source)

311. "Because my husband puts me first, he's taking me to the Waffle House." (in context) (find source)

312. "Anyone who thinks I should be fired is an idiot." (in context) (find source)

313. "Dude, your pizza is saving lives this morning." (in context) (find source)

314. "Some people do not belong in the wild." (in context) (find source)

315. "Your eyes have bewitched me." (in context) (find source)

316. "You people suck!" (in context) (find source)

317. "Null, void, invalid, iniquitous, unjust, damnable, reprobate, inane, empty of meaning and effect for all time." (in context) (find source)

318. "Wow, that's exciting. We got some real hard hitting stuff here." (in context) (find source)

319. "You are what you are I guess. That doesn't surprise me one bit." (in context) (find source)

320. "I don't think his intergalactic metaphor is exactly right." (in context) (find source)

321. "How do I say it? When Congress enacts a law, it isn't always well thought out." (in context) (find source)

322. "If I knew I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself." (in context) (find source)

323. "I understand I need to be punished for my poor decisions that were not sensible or logical at all." (in context) (find source)

324. "I'm a family man, and I live with my wife, but she wouldn't care if you were my lover." (in context) (find source)

325. "It is the real deal. It's Bigfoot and Bigfoot's here, and I shot it and now I'm proving it to the world." (in context) (find source)

326. "Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee." (in context) (find source)

327. "I literally was spacing out because I'm in such a rage spiral about that guy." (in context) (find source)

328. "Attack this with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind." (in context) (find source)

329. "You can only be a jackass for so long before everyone wants to knife you." (in context) (find source)

330. "He is a bitch, and that's why he's never won anything." (in context) (find source)

331. "Its the browns.. But hey, still pretty cool!" (in context) (find source)

332. "You're not man enough, you're not man enough. I'll break you in half. Like a boy." (in context) (find source)

333. "I don't think there's anything magical about being in a church that makes it any worse." (in context) (find source)

334. "It's not illegal to have a cow head on your property." (in context) (find source)

335. "If you don't like it, don't live in the fucking country next to a farm." (in context) (find source)

336. "It's dangerous because it's crappy." (in context) (find source)

337. "The enormity of their flat brain, the enormity of their stupidity is just overwhelming." (in context) (find source)

338. "You get what you pay for. And the world, by and large, does not pay." (in context) (find source)

339. "No, we didn't get it cleared, but we don't get our pop flies cleared either and those go higher than this thing did." (in context) (find source)

340. "I got plans today. I didn't want to get shot." (in context) (find source)

341. "We are a people and that's what we need to focus on, instead of dealing with non-profits run by Mexicans." (in context) (find source)

342. "I hope it's hard for you, you ass!" (in context) (find source)

343. "The show of force, show of power was incredible." (in context) (find source)

344. "Nobody would watch Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown." (in context) (find source)

345. "He would still be his exact duplicate but you know, hopefully keep him away from drugs and cigarettes, that kind of thing." (in context) (find source)

346. "That guy's an embarrassment to anybody who's ever had command at sea." (in context) (find source)

347. "When he's drinking, he considers himself a close personal buddy of the president." (in context) (find source)

348. "C'mon, man, you are just messing it up for everybody else. We want to get our quotes." (in context) (find source)

349. "Normally, I would not react like this, but I think it's very cruel." (in context) (find source)

350. "I doubt that I am the first member of Congress to tell off a reporter, and I am sure I won't be the last." (in context) (find source)

351. "It's just everything I hate about this country in one store." (in context) (find source)

352. "We are still years or decades away from this happening. But if I'm wrong and we can do it now, well, amazing! It will transform the world." (in context) (find source)

353. "You know, if I had a rock I would throw it at you right now." (in context) (find source)

354. "I need a full length Atlantic Salmon. For science." (in context) (find source)

355. "You better get your son before I kick him in the face too!" (in context) (find source)

356. "As far as pissing on your grave, I had no choice." (in context) (find source)

357. "I will never apologize for the United States-I don't care what the facts are." (in context) (find source)

358. "One of them is a guest dog and will be leaving soon." (in context) (find source)

359. "I guess he figured that the girlfriend was acting a little crazy, so I'll kill her cat." (in context) (find source)

360. "He's just amazingly finicky on stupid things that don't really achieve any government purpose." (in context) (find source)

361. "You are playing games with the wrong people and have made a very bad mistake." (in context) (find source)

362. "We just do what police officers do--we find out who done it. People talk." (in context) (find source)

363. "A lot of people who are geniuses, they really didn't realize it until they were dead." (in context) (find source)

364. "We would call somebody that does that a scofflaw." (in context) (find source)

365. "I felt myself at a place where I had to just leave the facility at that moment." (in context) (find source)

366. "This is not a damn trading card." (in context) (find source)

367. "It's just like a rush. You're revolting from the cops." (in context) (find source)

368. "This is the silliest thing I've had to work on in my entire career." (in context) (find source)

369. "Look, I am an IRS agent and I can help you in other ways if you let me go home and make this go away." (in context) (find source)

370. "Listen, I know how this works. How much money will it take to make this go away and to let me go home today?" (in context) (find source)

371. "Big Ears has played a really important role in my life, because I have a general anxiety disorder." (in context) (find source)

372. "Your company is evil. Your agenda is to destroy us." (in context) (find source)

373. "Do you expect me to keep subsidising you for the rest of my life?" (in context) (find source)

374. "Have a taste of this. It will do you good in so many ways." (in context) (find source)

375. "If I have to motivate pro football players to play a pro football game, then we need to get new pro football players." (in context) (find source)

376. "I take down foreign governments. I own Washington." (in context) (find source)

377. "My footwear was a boot but it's light." (in context) (find source)

378. "There is absolutely zero proof that I am a liar because I have not lied to you about a thing." (in context) (find source)

379. "Do you know what happened the last time a Raven player got a DUI? I'm getting cut tomorrow, not like you care." (in context) (find source)

380. "No, no, no, I want to have kids, I want to spread the Fuck last name." (in context) (find source)

381. "If all of our existing partners were to sow $300 each, from all over the world, we'd be able to acquire this jet in a very, very short period of time." (in context) (find source)

382. "I am a danger to myself and others and mitigating that danger is vital." (in context) (find source)

383. "Three would've been too few. Five would've been, like, wacky." (in context) (find source)

384. "When I stage a gender war my client is going to win; the only question is how much." (in context) (find source)

385. "I forgive you. We can move out to the middle of nowhere and breed snakes." (in context) (find source)

386. "I'm in the news, sweetheart, I will fucking sue this place." (in context) (find source)

387. "Well, fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing." (in context) (find source)

388. "Leave me alone and turn on the computer for me. I want to surf the internet." (in context) (find source)

389. "I would have done them all faster." (in context) (find source)

390. "I can't really talk about that right now. I told you this would be cryptic." (in context) (find source)

391. "Listen, if you write about this, can you say we spit in the food first?" (in context) (find source)

392. "It's about time to to have it coming our way. True or not?" (in context) (find source)

393. "Good luck never starting in the NFL." (in context) (find source)

394. "It looked like he was enjoying the event a bit too much." (in context) (find source)

395. "You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you and when you criticise them, they cry." (in context) (find source)

396. "The facts are unacceptable and demand the greatest severity." (in context) (find source)

397. "Wheel of annoying patients we go. Where it'll land, nobody knows." (in context) (find source)

398. "They must know I'm here. The half and half jug is missing" (in context) (find source)

399. "I'll tell you what, I don't want him taking snaps for my team." (in context) (find source)

400. "We could be czars. We could own the city." (in context) (find source)

401. "Well Ken, how did you enjoy drinking my blood?" (in context) (find source)

402. "are you old enough to pee?" (in context) (find source)

403. "And I shall wear the creditors' loathing with pride." (in context) (find source)

404. "As a result, we have a frenzied, and misinformed, misguided public." (in context) (find source)

405. "You need to take care of this. You don't want this to escalate." (in context) (find source)

406. "This is not an ordinary day in your life, I want you to know." (in context) (find source)

407. "Neil will have him dismembered as soon as possible, which will be no loss at all." (in context) (find source)

408. "Hey, keep an eye out on this guy, there's something wrong with him." (in context) (find source)

409. "I will light you up!" (in context) (find source)

410. "This is how it will be every time I see you." (in context) (find source)

411. "Do not try to approach the turkey." (in context) (find source)

412. "Yea, though I fly through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am at angels eight zero and climbing." (in context) (find source)

413. "You're the most pretentious of assholes, and the grandest of idiots." (in context) (find source)

414. "This email of yours is wrong and ignorant and sexist." (in context) (find source)

415. "Damn, first day of pads, I'm already breaking ankles on the route, shit." (in context) (find source)

416. "We both agreed that his time was up, and that there was no point hanging around for much longer." (in context) (find source)

417. "My client wasn't prepared to allow them to harass his wife." (in context) (find source)

418. "Thanks, man, for not crushing me." (in context) (find source)

419. "Ninety-nine percent of everything that has been said about me is completely false." (in context) (find source)

420. "I want to be the one who skins her alive. I can make wallpaper out of her." (in context) (find source)

421. "I think that this interview needs to be ended." (in context) (find source)

422. "I propose to move immediately upon your works." (in context) (find source)

423. "It really doesn't make sense to get any criticism for this." (in context) (find source)

424. "I do not deny that the meeting took place, but I have no comments to add." (in context) (find source)

425. "Enjoy your practice squad paycheck, enjoy your practice squad trophy." (in context) (find source)

426. "The more information I gather, the worse it looks for you." (in context) (find source)

427. "Finished school ready for the world of skulduggery and lust." (in context) (find source)

428. "The cleanup is going to be worse than the joke." (in context) (find source)

429. "I wasn't trying to be a rebel. I thought I had academic freedom." (in context) (find source)

430. "You're just trying to get something to quote me on, and I'm not going to give it to you." (in context) (find source)

431. "You know what? These are not humans, you dumb frickin' broad." (in context) (find source)

432. "It shows how stupid they are, those dogs and sons of dogs." (in context) (find source)

433. "The fight is over. It's squashed." (in context) (find source)

434. "He's given us permission to come in and also to touch this stuff, so it's not as if I'm touching things I shouldn't be touching." (in context) (find source)

435. "That is not one of the classical problems one ought to work on." (in context) (find source)

436. "I don't think the government should spend its money on you." (in context) (find source)

437. "I am a warrior for the babies!" (in context) (find source)

438. "You ask a question that requires no answer." (in context) (find source)

439. "It's not about offering sexual activities for remuneration, but offering a driving lesson." (in context) (find source)

440. "Sir, you don't get to argue with me. You understand that?" (in context) (find source)

441. "On this occasion the rule book has proved a brutal master instead of a useful servant." (in context) (find source)

442. "Let me start here - anyone who is concerned about lead in the drinking water in Flint can relax." (in context) (find source)

443. "I need some muscle over here!" (in context) (find source)

444. "You can't tell me someone her age has never seen a picture of a penis on the Internet." (in context) (find source)

445. "This is known as 'Wernicke's Aphasia'. I got a referral to a neurologist but then my phone ran out of minutes." (in context) (find source)

446. "You just have to drown the bunnies. Put a Glock to their heads." (in context) (find source)

447. "It's not easy being a rock star." (in context) (find source)

448. "How sad that the lives of degenerate drug addicts and queers are valued more than the innocent victims of more prevalent ailments." (in context) (find source)

449. "Jealousy made you sick. Get ready for a meeting with the devil." (in context) (find source)

450. "You almost killed that kid!" (in context) (find source)

451. "He has completely knifed me in the back." (in context) (find source)

452. "I've spent more time in the hospital than most people spend in jail." (in context) (find source)

453. "It is complicated to have money in Iceland." (in context) (find source)

454. "There's a long history in business of picking a successor and then discrediting them." (in context) (find source)

455. "I can never know this; my experience if printed may enable others to compare as I cannot." (in context) (find source)

456. "I don't think there's anything wrong with partying, bro." (in context) (find source)

457. "Where will you go when pandemonium strikes?" (in context) (find source)

458. "None of my assistants can be golfers. If any of my assistants are golfers, won't fly with me." (in context) (find source)

459. "Honey, I love you, and I'm sorry but we're getting kicked out now." (in context) (find source)

460. "I hope Mr. Napster, whoever that asshole is, is happy, because he put a lot of people out of work." (in context) (find source)

461. "Nobody likes you. Nobody respects you. Just so you know." (in context) (find source)

462. "Anyone using the words "activation" or "implementation" will be shot." (in context) (find source)

463. "I am pretty sure. I think so. I believe so. I'm ready, bro!" (in context) (find source)

464. "To express opinions using reason. Is that so hard to understand?" (in context) (find source)

465. "One thing led to another and the crime happened." (in context) (find source)

466. "Dear Rommel, you understand nothing about my thinking at all." (in context) (find source)

467. "We owe him a fuckton of gratitude." (in context) (find source)

468. "She got caught up in the likes." (in context) (find source)

469. "You're a smartass for pointing that out. Next topic." (in context) (find source)

470. "I feel like if you read a headline like that and you're easily triggered, maybe don't read the article." (in context) (find source)

471. "This whole thing is a hoax. Someone got into the Facebook somehow." (in context) (find source)

472. "Please don't publish my name. I will die. I have a heart condition." (in context) (find source)

473. "Well, okay. So now you're calling me a queer in the courtroom." (in context) (find source)

474. "I'm surprised she didn't defend herself." (in context) (find source)

475. "For heaven's sake, man, go!" (in context) (find source)

476. "I'm a white boy and I'm jacked--deal with it." (in context) (find source)

477. "Can you not, at the very least, stand up for our right not to be killed?" (in context) (find source)

478. "They don't know it's me. It's not like I put 'Aldon Smith.'" (in context) (find source)

479. "The national flag is the symbol of a nation! No problems are permissible!" (in context) (find source)

480. "I have no excuses for what I did. I broke the law and I broke it badly." (in context) (find source)

481. "Are you serious? That's about the dumbest thing I've ever seen." (in context) (find source)

482. "There was an enormous amount of violence in that garage." (in context) (find source)

483. "We have wasted the country's money on these rats we call athletes." (in context) (find source)

484. "This ain't no goddam Tennessee Fried Chicken, no matter what some slick, silk-suited son-of-a-bitch says." (in context) (find source)

485. "If they don't leave it will taser them and will keep tasering them until the authorities arrive and by the time they get back they will be dead." (in context) (find source)

486. "My culture is a very dominant culture, and it's imposing--and it's causing problems." (in context) (find source)

487. "Unfortunately we are not superman, we are fragile meat missiles." (in context) (find source)

488. "Listen to my instructions or it's going to become very uncomfortable for you." (in context) (find source)

489. "You, sir, are alarmingly disingenuous." (in context) (find source)

490. "You can make money in this business, but not if you're honest." (in context) (find source)

491. "The numbers are absurd on many levels." (in context) (find source)

492. "What audacious criminal, what mystifier, what maniac collector, what insane lover, has committed this abduction?" (in context) (find source)

493. "You have all these clown stories going around, you're gonna have those copycats who are gonna try to commit crimes and get in clown costumes." (in context) (find source)

494. "I'm not going to order the witness not to cry any more than I'm going to order her not to breathe." (in context) (find source)

495. "You never know what women are up to nowadays." (in context) (find source)

496. "If my own finger betrayed me, then I would have it removed or cut off." (in context) (find source)

497. "We'll sue your ass, own your ass and own your newspaper's ass as well, punk." (in context) (find source)

498. "For urgent inquiries, or indeed any inquiries, please contact someone who is not an insane psychopath." (in context) (find source)

499. "Could we please investigate some of the cocksuckers?" (in context) (find source)

500. "Can he do that?" (in context) (find source)

501. "This is horrifying. This is massively illegal." (in context) (find source)

502. "If you travel to the US, you should let me know." (in context) (find source)

503. "This is a bad idea. I can't make this. I'm rich." (in context) (find source)

504. "I hope this guy plays football." (in context) (find source)

505. "It's a subject we shouldn't talk about, but unfortunately that's what it is." (in context) (find source)

506. "I go into the office in the morning, I sue Barack Obama, and then I go home." (in context) (find source)

507. "If I ever really get mad at Gore Vidal, I'll publish his script." (in context) (find source)

508. "I was like a god there. I owned that stadium." (in context) (find source)

509. "It's crass, humiliating, disgusting, a waste of resources, and absurd, just like this regulation." (in context) (find source)

510. "These economic hitmen can't take away our merry Christmas." (in context) (find source)

511. "Can you give me any reason why you should not be in the penitentiary?" (in context) (find source)

512. "Today should be the happiest day of my life, and I cannot help but feel like I've just been robbed." (in context) (find source)

513. "Fuck this, I'm not dying in Florida." (in context) (find source)

514. "THERE IS NO ANY HARDWARE OR SOFTWARE IN THIS WORLD EXISTS WHICH COULD STOP MY HEAVY ATTACKS MY BRAIN OR MY SKILLS OR MY WILL OR MY EXPERTISE." (in context) (find source)

515. "What I did was so wrong. I deserve to be in jail." (in context) (find source)

516. "You know what side I'm on. I don't make any bones about it." (in context) (find source)

517. "In terms of his remorse, we say, if it exists, it is certainly belated." (in context) (find source)

518. "You don't want to mess with me. I'm from New York." (in context) (find source)

519. "It was in his gut, and then it was in his pants, and then it was in our bench." (in context) (find source)

520. "But some people who should be happy may not be." (in context) (find source)

521. "If the president does it, it can't be illegal." (in context) (find source)

522. "I was deposed today. Just go away. This is official." (in context) (find source)

523. "If you want me to leave it's gonna take more than just you." (in context) (find source)

524. "Why would I know or care?" (in context) (find source)

525. "don't make the mistake of going to Facebook with your little shit you found to fuss about" (in context) (find source)

526. "THE TRAIN TO RAGEDOM DIDN'T STOP FOR ANYTHING/ANYONE" (in context) (find source)

527. "Do you want to give his name? We'll destroy his career." (in context) (find source)

528. "I'd like to look into her eyes and see if she's really such a cold monster." (in context) (find source)

529. "Was that airliner meant to be underneath me?" (in context) (find source)

530. "There aren't enough jail cells in the country to arrest your way out." (in context) (find source)

531. "I can't see how it would be possible to make a comment that would be in my interest." (in context) (find source)

532. "Would enjoy crush u in court and forcing you to eat shit-you stupid ignorant ugly bitch!" (in context) (find source)

533. "I hope they dance to my tune." (in context) (find source)

534. "I feel like this may have been a mistake." (in context) (find source)

535. "I hope you'll one day learn that more is expected of you than yelling into a camera in front of a map." (in context) (find source)

536. "When Professor Macchiarini renders an opinion on all things involving the diseased airway, people listen." (in context) (find source)

537. "This is it. I've got to kill you now." (in context) (find source)

538. "I'm sorry, but for the last 25 or 30 years I've been unimpressed by the planet Jupiter." (in context) (find source)

539. "I am a really talented entertainer that can do it all." (in context) (find source)

540. "Let's just say my dad, who's in prison, is eating better than we were at that school." (in context) (find source)

541. "The point of the nuclear triad is to be afraid to use the damn thing." (in context) (find source)

542. "I worked for 31 years as a reporter and I don't care about your story." (in context) (find source)

543. "You just dug your grave." (in context) (find source)

544. "I get great intel. I have people brief me on great intel every day." (in context) (find source)

545. "That's called being a leader. I make the decisions nobody else has the stomach to make." (in context) (find source)

546. "Yes, I have been educated now about the Crying Jordan." (in context) (find source)

547. "I have done what I can. Now I think it is high time for the team to do the rest." (in context) (find source)

548. "I'd like to reach into the sack of scuzz money and pay for pictures of Brett Favre's dick, please." (in context) (find source)

549. "He wants an end to it, even if he does not know exactly how that happens." (in context) (find source)

550. "And I will not allow this country to be told what to do by foreigners." (in context) (find source)

551. "Pie is the food of the heroic. No pie-eating people can be permanently vanquished." (in context) (find source)

552. "He did a horrible heinous crime and I have no feeling except rot in hell." (in context) (find source)

553. "The refs been bought off! You're an ass!" (in context) (find source)

554. "Your bread and butter is going to get both of us thrown out on the street." (in context) (find source)

555. "You're an American citizen, this is a major catastrophe for the American country." (in context) (find source)

556. "Why can't I be the greatest? The only thing stopping me from it is me." (in context) (find source)

557. "You may think that a curse is lying on Nautilus. That curse is me." (in context) (find source)

558. "I don't care if you're Jesus Fucking Christ, you get a panel of experts." (in context) (find source)

559. "We treat each other like enemies." (in context) (find source)

560. "It is fair to say we are surprised." (in context) (find source)

561. "Watch your back, bitch." (in context) (find source)

562. "Either one man or three of us were going to die; what would you have done?" (in context) (find source)

563. "I am definitely going to die at the paws of this dog. He is going to kill me!" (in context) (find source)

564. "You'll love my dick." (in context) (find source)

565. "Give them the chance, and they'll weave some plot or turn on you." (in context) (find source)

566. "For the last 11 years, I have had to watch this guy find success in every other news organization." (in context) (find source)

567. "I'm James Deen forever. That's why I didn't pursue any defamation charges." (in context) (find source)

568. "If you're very much woke there is no such thing as distractions." (in context) (find source)

569. "This is the killer. Especially if my fingerprints r not on this." (in context) (find source)

570. "They obviously believed it because they did nothing to prepare for him not being there." (in context) (find source)

571. "There's this song and dance you learn to play because people are quick to judge." (in context) (find source)

572. "I have no interest in my daughter or my son playing sports and getting referred to as something like a penis." (in context) (find source)

573. "These animals need counselling, because probably they have been influenced by gays who have gone to the national parks and behaved badly." (in context) (find source)

574. "Let's just do it and be legends, man." (in context) (find source)

575. "I tell him to go get the victory. Stop messing around." (in context) (find source)

576. "He will kill his son one day." (in context) (find source)

577. "We can fix it my friend... we have the big dogs working on this." (in context) (find source)

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